Recently I saw somewhere that to look a little bit professional, there is a certain hair color that one can go for! And it is better if the hair color is not red, green, or blue because the look needs to be professional, and not look like a teen. It made me think a lot. Now, it may seem like this is not something to think so much about. But it actually is.
Well, hair color falls under one’s personal choice and so is the length of the hair. I know it acts as a key feature of one’s appearance but still, at the end of the day, IT IS one’s personal choice. Do I want to have long hair? Short hair? No hair? Red hair? Blue hair? Green hair? At the age of 18, 25, 30, 45, 55, or even 60? Maybe I do, maybe I do not. It is totally up to me, isn’t it?
But what’s important is, I shouldn’t be implying when, where, and how should one have certain hair color or a haircut? And this is not something that is limited to hair or hair color only.
“You are 28, you should get married now. You should at least start speaking to guys and see if you are ready to settle down. You should behave like a woman more and less like a girl (this I specifically do not understand). You should sit like a woman. You should act professional (how do you act professional? Either you are or you are not). You should dress this way and not that way. You should control your expression, always.”
All these are the comments/suggestions/feedback that I have been getting for the last 2 years and I am only 28 years old now! All of these have come from women, women older than me or women of my age, women closer to me, or women who I have met a few times. Sometimes I thought that these probably may have come up because of their concerns toward me but their concerns have created such anxiety and confusion in me a lot of time, made me think twice/thrice about coloring my hair with different colors, how I sit, how I talk and how I chose to stay single, you know? So, did these concerns really help me get better or empower me? Did these concerns really make me feel like learning new things, skills, or gather new knowledge, or better myself? Or did these queries are just making me annoyed from time to time?
So maybe they are thinking that they are helping another woman by showing “concern” with whatever they are saying, but what’s happening is, they are annoying and lowering down her confidence! So, the fact of the matter is words matter, how you convey messages and talk matters. What you are saying and which line you are crossing, matters.
Having said this, I also fumble my words quite often. I ask questions that cross lines and create discomfort for another woman. But lately, I have been trying to be a little more empathetic, compassionate, understanding, and have been practicing “minding my own business” too.
Hence, this international women’s day, I choose to become more and more compassionate, understanding and empowering (which I never got to be in so many cases) towards all genders. And I urge every woman to be so as well. Because if we truly want gender equality, then how do get there without empowering each other, our own tribe?